On The Personal Side

I guess I should talk about the ol' relationship, as I'm sure that's a piece of the puzzle that people probably wonder about during times like this. In my more jaded moments, I'd say something like "This is normal for a marriage that started out in a hurricane."

But on a more serious note, there's a lot of rebuilding that we need to do as individuals and together as a couple, and since this long-distance situation doesn't seem to be magically disappearing anytime in the next couple months, we're making the best of it. I can't really complain when I hear a different and more joyful tone of voice on the phone before The Philosophress even arrived at her apartment for the first time, a tone and attitude that has remained positive and upbeat for the last six weeks. That's certainly something that wasn't happening here.

I was pretty blown away by how many of her grad school friends were genuinely excited to meet me and had been looking forward to my visit. I know that our environment in SoCal brought out more imperfections and ugliness than anything else. I feel like I'm on the road to a more normal and stable existence, and the fact that she can see that from so far away and communicate it to others was pretty cool to experience.

The biggest change out there was a sense of community (absent in SoCal), and one that was rooting and expecting us to succeed (the best one hopes for out here is survival, and we weren't doing so well at that). I'm able to hang onto that healthier mindset when I know that there's a finish line, even if it's "out there" sometime in the indefinite future.

Life just seems to be Easier, and I'm most definitely looking forward to that. I'd much rather be a straightforward type of guy. I used to do a much better job before all of this crapola happened out here. If I'm able to leave behind the walls and barriers to myself when I move will ensure an easier and more efficient transition. The more that The Philosophress and I put off the "helpless, isolated, whining and demanding" mindset that tended to dominate our interactions with one another and instead return to self-sufficient and outgoing individuals, the better off we'll be.

As for this whole relationship business, it's going to be a lot of relearning, probably moreso for me as The Philosophress has plenty of healthy relationships around her already. Quite honestly, I'm not sure how many good habits we had when we were both in SoCal. The good thing is that I've jumped into something with no prior experience before (dating) and did a decent job at succeeding. Given proper circumstances and healthy mindsets, we've done this before. I know there will be plenty of hurdles once I get out there, so I'm just trying to keep myself as mentally healthy here as possible, because pining for the future without any end in sight just leads to frustration, anger and confusion.