Bar Food

It was either that or the El Pollo Loco that laid me low with food poisoning yesterday. Good times. Here's to my renewed desire to cook for myself more often...

Eustress

Not the opposite of stress, just the good kind of stress. I was reading this good article on the Zen Habits website, and there are lots of good suggestions here.

I'm currently focusing on finding the right level of eustress without venturing into "overwhelm" territory. It's a good juggling act, as this weekend I need to do a couple writing projects, find a dishwasher repairman, locate a reasonably-priced housekeeper, and start packing for a weekend in Boston.

Maybe that's why my body decided to fall asleep last night at 7:30...

P.S.: I'm also considering signing up for Twitter - anyone around here have strong feelings/experiences one way or the other?

Everybody's Working for the Week

So for whatever reason, trouble seems to find me more on the weekends than during the week. I'm not sure if it's the built in structure of the workday that forces me to focus, but I've actually been dreading going into the last couple weekends (maybe "dreading" is too strong...maybe "hesitant" is better).

One of my misconceptions that I'm currently working to overcome is focusing on "free time" as a goal. Free time that's unstructured and unbounded is no good -- I get nothing productive accomplished. Lately, I've been forcing myself into healthy situations (new habits) and saying to myself, "This is what you *want* to do, Self." There have been too many unhealthy voices in my noggin recently, and instead I'm putting myself into situations where I have to think/write creatively. What's healthiest for me in the medium- and long-term are not the desires that are barking the loudest these days.

There's a theory that schoolchildren live up to the expectations and labels assigned to them, so I'd appreciate it if everyone can treat me like I live in Atlanta, have a good writing job, and am a good spiritual leader and husband!

Running Uphill

Ugh, today is the first day this week that my body has resisted the idea of running before work. I'm going to try and make it happen, and hopefully this "mind over body" experiment will continue happily. Maybe my grouchiness has something to do with the cat meowling as I tried to fall asleep this morning, and being awakened by same cat (and same meowling) this morning...

Birthday Musings

So I don't know exactly why, but birthdays have always felt a little bizarre to me. I tried to take a different approach this year, with some measure of success.

I've always been a bit self-conscious about my birthday, and I'm not sure if it's that I felt the need to "play nice" for the family growing up, or if a summer birthday means I was never socialized like the other kids who had birthdays during the school year. Like an uber-nerd, I hid my birthday on Facebook last year so I wouldn't get random wall posts from people I only hear from once a year.

Oddly, with The Philosophress and the rest of my family out of town (for varying reasons), I decided to try and treat my birthday the way everyone else treats theirs. I fielded numerous phone calls, went to lunch with coworkers, and splurged and got myself a new phone (meeting a dire need!).

So for those of you who remembered to call, and even for those of you who didn't/couldn't/forgot...I appreciate our conversations the other 364 days just as much :)

Not Intentional, but a good reminder

So this morning, I noticed that Tony Dungy's autobiography was sitting in my bathroom, only partially read. My parents bought it for me as a Christmas present, and while I've heard many people speak highly of it, I haven't gotten around to finishing it.

The book's title is Quiet Strength.

As I think about living life authentically (and everything The Philosophress needs me to be), "quiet strength" probably wouldn't be near the top of the list of things I should focus on.

Just a morning reminder that what works for some won't necessarily work for me.

Google Has Some Work To Do

So I've become a pretty big fan of Gmail -- but when an email composition is saved and then accessed again, little ads come up on the right-hand side. Ostensibly, Google has scanned your draft message and posted ads that apply or are related in some way.

However, for your laughing pleasure, here are the ads that popped up as I was composing a morning email to The Philosophress. Anyone want to take a stab at what I was writing about? (Hint: it has *nothing* to do with any of the ads listed below)

Sponsored Links (feedback)

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Good Friday

Great post today on Anywired, one of the blogs I read with regularity:

What would you do if there were ten of you? (Putting aside the social and existential awkwardness that might cause, of course.)

Once you’ve answered that question, something to think about:

What will you do because there is only one of you?

Wow. Where do I begin? For whatever reason, putting things in that light makes a tremendous difference -- filtering out the stuff of life and getting down the meat. There would be a bunch of guitar playing, fantastic late-night conversations (leaping wildly from groan-inducing puns to topics filled with gravitas), and a thirst for adventure. I (We?) would constantly seek out well-thought perspectives to bump against, seeing what makes sense with life. *Lots* of writing -- that would be the industry of choice.

I keep looking for a roadmap, someone who's been this way before to show me the ropes. But because there is only one of me, I have to reference others' decisions rather than plagiarizing their circumstances, experiences, and relationships in hopes of passing them off as my own.

~~~

In light of Good Friday, it's easy to see why Christ did what He did -- because there *was* only one of Him, and His purpose was unique. I feel like such a goof -- I've always heard references to Passion Week and the movie The Passion of the Christ, without realizing the tremendous zeal behind Christ's actions. He didn't walk into the Temple unprepared to throw out the money-changers -- He knew the actions, intentions, and processes of all the transactions occurring. In short, He had done His homework. At the Last Supper, He had already laid out the foreshadowed examples -- going way back to Egypt and Passover. He was the expert in His field, in charge of orchestrating the entire operation. He was undeterred by others who claimed expertise in religion, politics, or pushing for social revolution.

He gave us life, but He also exemplified the passion required to really live.

How A Weekend in the City Cured My Introversion

There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. I should know -- I am one. But there are times when I regress into isolation and somehow justify that as "introversion," which is fundamentally flawed and not at all healthy.

This weekend in Atlanta, I was reminded of the benefits of engaging other people. It's not easy to stay isolated when I'm out of my "routine," meaning I cannot merely eat the same food at the same place every night, and I cannot head to the same self-service check-out line at the grocery store and get back in my own car and drive myself to the same places.

Instead, I must walk, increasing my physical activity. I also pass by other folks on the street, and my sense of manners (to be retitled "Southern gentility" in the next phase of life) will not permit me to avoid eye contact or the obligatory exchange of pleasantries. When someone's job is to open a door or serve a meal, one-word answers are the status quo. But then I remind myself that injecting some humor may make their day a bit more enjoyable, and it gets them out of their routine and reminds us both that we're similar individuals sharing life together.

Or, I must take public transportation. This requires regular interaction with all manner of people, from cab drivers to fellow travelers on public transit -- people from many different walks of life. And then my curiosity gets the better of me, and I start to wonder what their story is. And more often than not, I end up asking. If the conversation continues, that means I must share my story also.

Or, I must explore new things. Being a tourist has some inherent advantages, namely that there are structures in place for the "new folks" and that you (mostly) get a pass if you're "not from around here." This reminds me not to take myself so seriously. It also means that other folks are more apt to answer questions -- to help out the newcomer. And so instead of trying to make it on my own, I ask someone new and unexpected to help me on my journey. In the process, I get a glimpse of their opinions and their perspective.

~~~

So the first challenge is to carry that same spirit with me all the time. That's a bit daunting, as folks out here tend to growl at you if you attempt to engage them. Oh, not the people you already know, but the people you pass by. Life here is something that happens to you, not experiences you make happen.

The second challenge is to ensure that Life in the Big City doesn't become routine in the same way that things are routine right now. I'd like life to be inconvenient *just* enough to require me to engage with people on a regular basis to keep me sharp. I don't know exactly how that will appear, but whether it's apartment living, public transit to/from work, or getting involved in new activities, I want to make sure my existence is far from isolated. Just because I'm an introvert doesn't mean I can't also stand out in a crowd.

Happy Sappy Day

One of the many reasons why I love my wife: she calls me yesterday and asks if we *have* to do something extravagant on Valentine's Day. I remind her that we'll actually be seeing one another next weekend, and it would probably be more natural to be excited to share quality time instead of adhering to commercial mandates that we express our devotion (and dollar signs) on one specific day.

One benefit of this season of life is it stretches and forces us to choose what is right for us rather than moving in step with the rest of society. It requires additional thought and effort, but that leads to a well-examined life in most cases. I don't think it makes sense to feel guilt on one day when I can instead focus and look forward with anticipation to an upcoming action-packed weekend.

For similar (but more articulate) Valentine's thoughts, try this out for size.

Peer Counseling

So yesterday I began the first of ten weekly "peer counseling" sessions at a local church -- just trying to gain some additional insight/perspective on all the upcoming life changes. Unfortunately, after a long day at the office, I think my persona came across as more pitiful and passive than I'd like. So I definitely to come in next week with a more assertive mindset, because his responses were more of a hand-holding nature ("here's what you must be feeling") instead of more solution-based ("here are the 3 steps you're going to focus on the next several months to get yourself moved cross-country").

My assignment this week is to fill in the following blanks:

I want...

I need...

I would like...

I feel...


Today's responses:

I want a writing job in a healthy work environment in the Atlanta area. I also want a minimum of 8 wins this football season and a Sweet Sixteen berth for our basketball team.

I need to portray myself as an adult when I'm around my parents so they'll respond accordingly. I also need to take the Christmas tree out of the living room.

I would like additional social opportunities for enriching discussion rather than smalltalk. I would also like the dishes to wash themselves (can someone do something about the fly problem in here??)

I feel trapped by the pressures that are inherent in the California lifestyle, but I am learning how to fight back and carve out my own space to be who I really am.



Now I feel it necessary to shower and head to work.

OJ & Chicken Soup

So since my coworkers apparently don't know how to wash their hands, the sniffles have made their way around the office to me. Thank goodness I wasn't in this office environment when the Plague was around...

In other news, I'm trying to actually listen to what my body has to say instead of my brain with all of its "should-be-doings" dominate my life. I'm slowly realizing that for years I've been ignoring my body's protestations -- things like skipping/skrimping on meals and going to bed too late -- and then becoming angry with other people or Life In General, to my own detriment.

It's still a struggle, but I'm trying to train (all of) myself to notice and enjoy the synergies that arise from having my mind and body working together. I find that my mind is clearer and my creativity increases, which is good considering this phase of life requires a large amount of creativity -- namely, there are a *ton* of good things but a healthy and clear outlook on life is essential.

Brilliant Word Picture

So this weekend's sermon at church was on the "filling of the Holy Spirit" and featured a simplified a spiritual truth that in the past has seemed complex or ambiguous.

When describing "fullness" I've always heard the analogy of a cup, where full means overflowing the brim so that I stay full while blessings flow to others. However, last night the word picture was a balloon.

The pastor gave one puff of air into the balloon and asked the audience, "Is the balloon full?" The answer was, of course, yes and no. And therein lies the spiritual truth -- realizing that growth requires additional being open to "stretching" and infusion from outside ourselves. As I'm sure many of you can attest, there are times in life when I realize that what has brought me this far is insufficient to carry me further -- that I need more. And that's when the balloon needs another breath from God.

Pretty cool stuff...discuss amongst yourselves.

"How Many Times You Get Up"

One of those cliches, but I feel like I'm getting exhausted falling down. I don't know if my Resiliency Quotient is just underdeveloped or what...

There are times when I have fantastic visions of Becoming a Writer or Business Communicator, and then I have trouble connecting with individuals who can help me on the journey. It takes a strong mental will to shut out my recent actions and say, "I'll be different -- starting today!"

I also feel like I'm eternally short on time & energy. I'd like to gameplan and think longer-term, but there are a host of errands -- grocery-shopping, mother's birthday, going to the office for several hours, getting my hair cut, cleaning house -- that conspire to crowd out any shred of creative impulse that I have.

Maybe I just haven't gotten to the point where I *loathe* that other stuff enough to either delegate or make creative thinking and long-term planning a priority. I thought that setting my alarm for 5am each day would show Life that I'm serious, but maybe I'm just not there yet...