Random Thoughts, Part 357

Today's reason I love my wife: I'm trying to build momentum networking after a good presentation at ND, and she's been talking to her classmates about best practices. One guy said to her, "You seem surprised at his actions and passions." Her response? "Well, yeah. He's kind of been a sleeper cell."

When she relayed this info to me over the phone, I asked her if we should rejoice that I'm no longer sleepwalking through life or worried that I'm displaying terrorist tendencies. Faaaantastic! :)

~~~

Now that I have some perspective, I can honestly say there was never a night at ND or Indianapolis (and now Atlanta) where I fell asleep thinking "man, I wish I was living in California." Oh, I'd spend some time thinking "I wish there was semblance of warmth outside" or "I miss being near (insert individual name here)." I spent many days thinking about living in NC and Atlanta, and Atlanta's turned out to be a good thing so far. I wonder what it means if tonight I fall asleep thinking about living in Rome -- this isn't the first time for that either...

Husbands, Love Your Wives...

...and no, I don't think that's Paul's endorsement for polygamy.

I enjoy tradition, but you might also notice I'm a bit of a nonconformist. I'm not one to wax on with regards to politics or religion on this blog, but I do have my opinions, and given the appropriate time and audience, I have no problem sharing my beliefs and opinions.

Well, dear audience, welcome to the opinionated portion of the show.

During this time of transition, I've had occasion to explain to some people the motivations and rationale behind our recent and continuing life decisions. Most of these conversations begin/continue because people ask the right questions -- a genuine desire to know more about my passions and vision as well as future opportunities for The Philosophress. With the church-going crowd (family, friends, and acquaintances alike), I feel like many big questions go unasked and unanswered. Among them:

The Philosophress is selling out and getting her MBA as a giant money grab, isnt she?

Living across the country must be terrible situation, and temptations must abound -- why didn't you put your foot down and tell her to stay at home and go to grad school closer to you, or at least take the first job that came up so you two could be together?

Aren't you "settling" with your career path because The Philosophress is so opinionated about advancing her career?

Why aren't you two living life like the Bible teaches?


Wow, I'm glad so many good questions were put out there on the table. Because this is my space, I'll go about answering them one at a time.


The Philosophress is selling out and getting her MBA as a giant money grab, isnt she?

In a word, no. I never really thought much about a person pursuing an MBA as a money-chaser, but then again, I'm not like most folks. While it's fair to say that everyone continues to evolve, grow, and learn throughout life, I'm more impressed with the woman I've married than ever before. I see her earnest desire to acquire wisdom (different than knowledge) that equals or surpasses many of her colleagues. I see an acute and strategic vision of where she wants to go and who she wants to be.

Funny thing is, none of that is tied to income. The Philosophress wants to help people who are unable to help themselves. At different points during her MBA career, she committed her energy, time, and talents to research, contribute, or advance the following endeavors:

- streamline a local startup that takes juvenile delinquents and tutors them through trade schools like ITT Tech, with a graduation rate of over 90%
- connect with a non-profit that challenges prison inmates to develop business plans side-by-side with MBA students to ease the prisoners' reintegration into society
- take a friend's desire to startup a non-profit and develop a business plan, create a braintrust of fellow MBA students, and research best practices

She has countless other stories, each one seemingly more astounding to me than the last. I am constantly struck by the amount of *good* that is possible with her connections, passion, and education. Even in her full-time business consulting job after graduation, if she's put on a project that shows a production company how to conserve 10% of their resources through better practices or improve employee quality of life, isn't this *good* beyond simple profit/loss metrics?

I am awestruck by the incredible possibilities before her because of her MBA degree. In the past I have been content to focus my efforts at the local level -- how I could volunteer or help a few individuals. How amazing to have a wife who looks alos at the grand picture and tries to use her skills to help hundreds, if not thousands, of others. One of my favorite quotes recently is from a CEO of a for-profit business that develops self-powered radios and other similar devices for the third world, outperforming traditional tech companies by lightyears: "I could work in a soup kitchen to give back to society, but it would not be the best use of my skills."


Living across the country must be terrible situation, and temptations must abound -- why didnt you put your foot down and tell her to stay at home or go to grad school closer to you?

Actually, the exact opposite is true. Living together in California was a dysfunctional experience for us (the details of which aren't important for this discussion, but I'm happy to explain in another venue). The Philosophress had a competing offer from a grad school closer to California, but I encouraged her to pursue her education at Duke, knowing their curriculum was a much better fit for her long term goals. It's amazing what happens when we make the right long-term decisions -- the interim details turn inconsequential compared to the magnificent opportunities. I confess the long-distance relationship was difficult at times, but over time our resolve and confidence increased, knowing we had made a wise decision. In the end, it has afforded us with a path that is both exciting and decidedly our own. I'm sure I'm not alone among husbands in admitting I've made some unfortunate decisions, but this is one of the moments where I got it right. The Philosophress has done a great deal to give us both such an amazing chance to try something daring, exciting, and life-altering, and I wisely encouraged the road less traveled.


Aren't you "settling" with your career path because The Philosophress is so opinionated about advancing her career?

A funny thing happened when we moved to California for my job: there were congratulations all around and an expectation that we'd fall nicely into the rhythm of married life. Because I was the one to initiate a relocation to California, that was somehow more conventional and acceptable. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell us, and the next two years ended up being probably the most tumultuous, confusing, and painful of our young married lives. Only now am I discovering and working toward a career path that makes sense for my natural talents, and there's still quite a bit of learning I have to do. While she does have opinions and passions about her career, we've both learned that when I feel pressure (internal or external) to have a "responsible" career that I forego more essential pieces of my identity -- church community/involvement, ND alumni activities, PR/web stuff, humor, recreational sports, my sense of adventure...the list goes on. It's good that The Philosophress has strong career opinions that benefit in the short-term from a nice salary -- there are grad loans to repay, there are exciting career challenges to meet, coworkers to learn from, positive impacts to make, and friends in distant cities to visit! Remember The Philosophress' focus and vision I mentioned above? That's a good thing to lean on right now, because she's been shaping and honing those talents at a very high level. If I can find a place where I can advance my own self and career, why would I want to squash the strong opinions of The Philosophress? If "leadership" is the criterion, look at me "leading" the way to settling in Atlanta. Unless of course, what you're really asking is...


Why aren't you two living married life like the Bible teaches?

I mentioned at the outset that I like tradition, but I'm a nonconformist. I like my status as a unique person, and I was (and still am) drawn to The Philosophress' unique passion and individualism. The Bible talks about marital submission and husbandly leadership, and sometimes I wonder if the Church has taken these principles and in certain instances applied them beyond their intended meaning. (And yes, I have had separate conversations in which this specific question has come up).

I'm happy to discuss dogma, but that's not the point of this post. Scripture, and its interpretation, contains topics with many slippery slopes. I get the feeling that this last question arises because our lives look a bit different from traditional American Christianity or social convention. Jesus talks in the Gospels about living a full life, and Scripture is filled with passionate and authentic (and imperfect and developing) characters -- all intent on making a world of difference.

I'll be the first to admit imperfections and inadequacies -- no sense in hiding the truth -- and I'm working to improve my areas of weakness. But I'm learning sometimes the best solutions are as resonant as they are unorthodox...and that's not a bad thing. Maybe business professionals *can* do some good after all...recent events have certainly sifted out those who are just in it for the profit. Maybe cultivating individuality keeps relationships fresh and exciting, and maybe both men and women can develop identities beyond job titles and relational roles. Maybe as I grow into the best person I can be, and The Philosophress grows into the best person she can be...maybe that's where the best marriage is. That's what we're shooting for, and I think God smiles on that.

Mental Toughness

As the frequency of my blog posts might suggest, I haven't exactly been a model of consistency lately. I think the root of the problem traces back to my lack of mental toughness. It's oddly humorous, because progress in one area of life leads to backward steps in another.

Growing up and even into my college years, I operated under the assumption that I was a rational, left-brained individual, seeking the quickest and most efficient path to a goal or through an obstacle. The academic life supported this "deadline-oriented" outlook (procrastination) -- throwing a mountain of effort at a problem, finding a solution, then resting and finding a change of scenery (be that a weekend, a new class subject, semester, etc).

Following graduation, I discovered a couple things: life after college doesn't provide well-marked transitions or regular checkpoints, and I'm far more emotionally wired than I ever realized growing up. This requires a new level of discipline that, frankly, I'm not exactly had much practice in mastering. My challenge is to balance my emotions with determination to move forward in the real-world life settings.

Too many times I burn myself out pushing late into the night on trying to get out to Atlanta, as if I could will my way across the country with an extra hour of research or work. Too many times I get lost in watching television because I've allowed the stresses of my current position to dampen my spirits and drain the strength I need to push to create a new life in a different city.

This balance requires a level of emotional honesty that acknowledges that I'm human and need breaks. I can't burn myself out and crash, because I will always have daily responsibilities. I can't retreat into a cocoon of comfort, because relocation requires pushing the envelope of comfort. At the same time, I need to be intentional and consistent about forging a new path and creating new connections.

So I'm trying a new tactic to increase my emotional, physical, and mental focus, as well as "strategic disengagement" (fancy term courtesy of The Philosophress via a Harvard Business Review article, "The Making of a Corporate Athlete"). I'm trying to schedule focused times where I push myself (running, job applications, etc) and also evenings where I can surf Facebook and read sports stories. The goal is that hopefully I can develop better habits and be more productive when I need to tackle job search responsibilities (networking, email follow-ups, applications, etc).

Weekend Recap

So it's Monday, I'm tired again, but if I don't write some stuff down here, time will keep marching on. This weekend was pretty awesome -- The Philosophress and I got to stay in a six-star resort in Phoenix as part of the BCG recruiting process. I didn't have to miss work and didn't have to deal with jet lag since I didn't leave the Pacific Time Zone.

Aside from sweet food, some familiar faces, and spending time together, there was the Saturday kayaking trip. There were various activities, but I think we hit the jackpot, as we had a two-person inflatable kayak for a downriver 3 mile excursion. As an aside, I think that marriage counselors should set up a nearby tent anywhere there's an activity that requires husband-wife coordination. We quickly learned that we could just float to our destination "Lazy River" style, but others were not so fortunate, running into rocks, low-hanging tree branches, etc.

We were told that there was a chance to see bald eagles and herds of wild mustangs, and sure enough, we hit the jackpot -- the second time this year The Philosophress and I have encountered a bald eagle whilst kayaking. Throw in the overcast day with some intermittent light showers, and it was definitely a relaxing and enjoyable afternoon in the Tonto National Forest.

It was also great to just chill with one of the scoutmaster guides, who was a young guy probably in his early 30s. He also does survival training, so I asked him my best Bear Grylls questions. We also got into some of the crazy things he's heard tourists say through the years, including a lady who would stop paddling, lean waaay over each side of the kayak and peer into the water. When asked what was wrong, she replied, "I'm just trying to see the track this thing's on."

Then there are those who pull their kayaks out of the water, see the buses, and say "Oh great, right back where we started." That's right -- the mysterious circular river.

Or the lady that demanded that the guide "bring the horses back out" because she wanted to see them again.

Some people really need to get outside more often...

~~~

Then Sunday we met up with Lee, Junk, and their ladies as an added ND bonus to cap off the weekend. It was fantastic to see all four of them, and there's some mischief planned, hopefully taking the form of camping in/near the Grand Canyon. I'll be tracking this story with interest, as I'm trying to be a bigger fan of the outdoors and shed the "clean and proper boy" moniker...

Forwarded from The Philosophress...

Sadly, No Midwest Trip for me

Well, until this morning there was an outside chance I'd be on campus for the ND-Purdue game, but the combination of procrastination, lack of airline miles, and the industry's general desire for loads of cash keeps in SoCal for the weekend.

No matter, The Philosophress will be out for the weekend with instructions to be an ambassador for both of us and to bring home a W. Welcome her as you would me: with open arms, although with fewer butt slaps, please.

In job seaching news, this means I can be productive this weekend. I don't think I've been this excited about work since I was working in baseball (before the season started -- the "no days off all summer" bit tempered my enthusiasm near the end of things)...

Rolling Downhill?

Well between The Philosophress accepting her job offer and my membership enrollment in a national PR association (and joining the GA chapter), I feel like connections are beginning to get easier. Between the wife's future co-workers, the PR association directory, LinkedIn, Facebook, and the ND Alumni network, I'm able to find connections at lots of places.

Still on the Wish List for personal contacts (ideally, someone with connections to the PR/communications department in) :

Habitat for Humanity
Emory University
Georgia Tech
CARE USA
Carter Center


...and I'd better get to work. I guess my applications for the Atlanta Community Food Bank and the Clean Air Campaign will have to wait until tonight...

Buying Irrationality, Selling Our Future

So this week was pretty crazy, what with everyone and their brother selling off stocks left and right, the US government pumping $180B into worldwide markets and calling on London, China, and Russia to do likewise. We've nationalized the world's largest insurance company (79% of AIG) and made it illegal to short stocks -- at least for the time being.

Panic is a strange thing, as it causes folks to behave nonsensically. Thursday and Friday were big gains in the stock market, but only because the Fed threw tons of money at the problem and said "we're going to make everything ok." If that's what investors are pinning their hopes on, I hope nothing crazy like another hurricane or oil spill or Russian offensive or terrorist attack occurs, because that's the sort of thing the Fed can't control.

$180B certainly helps to keep disaster at bay, but I'm not convinced that some other natural disaster or world event won't destroy investor and consumer confidence. If that happens, then we could be in some interesting times.

In other, more awesome news, The Philosophress accepted her job offer in ATL. This, after all her classmates' i-banking and finance summer internships basically go up in smoke, and along with the fact that the new first-year MBA students won't touch the financial sector with a 10-foot pole, means there's lots of demand for consulting gigs.

Kudos to The Philosophress for going after her passions and what she's good at, and with the added luck that it wasn't in a sector that's going to see some real hard times in the next couple years.

All this to say that I'm about done tap dancing around at the bank. I'm eschewing the "send the resume off into cyberspace and hope some computer doesn't filter me out of the applicant pool" approach to job hunting and instead sending emails and making connections with relevant people in the area. We are solidly in the "it's time for us to be closer and begin reintegrating our lives back together" phase. I definitely want to make it out to the ATL before we hit the "distance is detrimental to personal and relational growth" part of the show.

More details to follow...

Validation

In a very cool way, my last week with The Philosophress served as a validation of sorts for each one of us. Because we are apart, it's sometimes difficult for me to measure my own personal progress and I tend to get discouraged. Being with The Philosophress reminds me how I handle situations differently now than when we were both still in California, and it's so refreshing to realize the positive growth that's taken place. And in spite of the distance, I really feel more complete and myself when I'm around her with other people -- I can be fully engaged and really play off of all the good parts of me that she brings out.

This phenomenon is not lost on her, either. After I helped out (in a small way) with her big responsibilities with a welcome day for many of the first-year MBAers, she said she felt people treating her differently (better) after seeing us together. I guess I can understand how others might traditionally react to a woman in b-school with an off-location husband -- especially one as far away as I am. The rigors of grad school and deadlines require certain types of behavior, but she is so much more than a serious student. I actually like coming in to play a little bit of the comic relief -- I can see some of her stress roll away when I remember that life doesn't have to be so serious and act accordingly. I know that I do everything I can to be outgoing, personable, wryly humorous, and engaging with others I encounter because that reflects well on her and the type of people she values. It's hard to play both serious student and comic relief all by oneself, even though she definitely has both of those elements in her personality.

It is a validation to ourselves and to others as to why this marriage makes sense. Even though life circumstances aren't ideal, I certainly am held in higher esteem because of the amazing determination and focus The Philosophress demonstrates. I'm able to show that she values lightheartedness, culture, and outside-the-box thinking when I'm present to show myself and the confidence and care for her.

Just good things to remember as we move toward reintegration and life together again in a new place...

Four Years

So last week The Philosophress and I did some advance anniversary celebrating, which was definitely nice. Four years seems about the right amount of time to encapsulate all the craziness that has transpired in life -- I'm definitely a fan of the recent good times that helps the stress recede into the background!

We also played a game predicting aspects of our life 4 years from now, an interesting exercise given all the shenanigans we've been up to recently. Things like countries visited, languages learned, and triathlons run, along with the acquisition of children (?), pets, and friendships.

Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments: where will we be in four years (hopefully living under the same roof!) and what will life look like?

All in all, I'm pretty stoked to be married to The Philosophress, and really glad we can take the tough lessons learned and apply them to the next four years of life -- and that *definitely* has me smiling today!

Asking the Right Questions

I'm finding one of the marks of Good People is the ability to ask the right questions. I suppose this arises from my own acknowledgment that I don't always do so myself. I've spent considerable time in the past trying to play by the rules of others, subsequently finding my own individuality and creativity squeezed out in the process. The Philosophress and I tend to demonstrate our individuality in non-traditional ways (maybe she even moreso than I!). As such, I'm aware of the metaphorical stares of others. While prejudged comments are discouraging, it is even more refreshing to encounter those who want to know the stories and thoughts behind the sometimes curious actions.

A couple weeks ago, I was on the phone with one of my good friends, recounting The Philosophress' full-time consulting job offer. His question was fantastic: "I know she wants to get involved with non-profits at some point -- does this help her achieve that ultimate goal, or has she shifted her focus?" This enabled me to dive into her vision of understanding business principles and high-level organizations so that she can connect non-profits with networks of resources (organizations, funding, manpower, etc) to maximize impact. A conversation with another acquaintance did not go so well. "Ah, the lucrative option," he says, giving a smirk and a knowing nod when informed The Philosophress is working toward her MBA. Such a comment is a powerful (and unfortunate) indicator of someone who has career paths presorted in neat categories, and the Big Bad Business World is where all materialistic folks go to keep one another company.

The life lesson for me to remember in all of this is that we must be true to ourselves. If others understand and want to remain involved, so much the better. For those that do not or cannot think outside the box, we must not be deterred from living truly and authentically. It will probably not always go as planned, but I don't want to take the easy road in attempts to avoid unseen mishaps -- those have a way of popping up regardless.

Overheard Tonight

The Philosophress: "Iran and Afghanistan and now Putin? Where do these guys come from?"

The Brother of The Philosophress: "Well you see, when a daddy terrorist loves a mommy terrorist very much..."

Sabellian Union in Revue

So this past weekend we had the distinct privilege of witnessing the Sabellian wedding in Salem, OR. The groom was about as stressed as I'd seen him, so we set about lightening the mood and trying to get things done. I actually got to craft the first couple hours of the reception playlist, something I wish I'd had time to do for our wedding -- there's something satisfyingly organic about having one Apple laptop running the music, another projecting the photo slideshow, and a third displaying the photographer's pictures. Then it was off to the tux shop to get looking swanky. Jeremy's Nicaraguan groomsmen in particular were wondering how his "tame" ND friends would act during the weekend, but Dr. Kline and I quickly allayed their fears. The Good Doctor arrived with numerous black afro wigs so the Sabellian would feel right at home. We unveiled them during Friday's dinner, much to the delight of family and friends gathered. I like to think this was a great stress reliever for The Sabellian -- those who've been in (or near) weddings know how daunting the details become, and that was our way of giving everyone notice that the dudes were here and the Man was henceforward unavailable to answer questions on floral arrangements and other detritus. Of course, I had to explain to his family this was kind repayment for how he rolled up to my wedding weekend -- fu manchu, hair slicked into a pony tail, wife-beater with gold chains, and painter's paints.

The bachelor party was full of mischief, beginning with shotgunning Rockstars and bowling -- wigs make a fantastic bowling prop. I did my best to come up with creative bowling names, and one of the other groomsmen bought a shot for Jeremy, inducing a coughing fit. Not the best moment for our man, but then again, he was the only one who had an *actual* 'fro, so I guess the joke's on us. After a couple games we headed out, but not before the guy behind the check-in counter at the bowling alley recommended the "Glow Worm Lounge [or some similar nonsense] and ask for a girl named Sparkle." Nothing like an awkward moment with the bowling guy, telling him that's not how we roll.

Dr. Kline definitely overachieved with the post-bowling portion of the evening, providing a pinata filled with candy and other "goodies" (my personal favorite were the fishnet stockings). He even gave a short speech about how the Sabellian had found "his treasure" and something about "booty." In true manly fashion, we opted against a broomstick, instead extracting a rough-hewn plank from a nearby construction site.

We then rolled to a bar for another round of drinks, where the brother of the bride was informed that his temporary driver's license (issued by the DMV) was an unacceptable form of ID. After numerous go-arounds with management, he cruised home and returned with his actual birth certificate, which strangely convinced them he was legal to drink.

Saturday morning was pretty fantastic, when The Philosophress and I spend a good long breakfast with Dr. and Mrs. Kline. Said breakfast was punctuated with a frantic phone call from Rampolla convinced he was going to be late for the noon wedding. Boy, was he relieved when I said it started at 4p. On the way out of breakfast, we came across a mild traffic accident across from a Harley-Davidson dealership, where a new motorcycle owner (apparently) gunned her bike, crossing all lanes of traffic and cruising right through a chain link fence and into an abandoned parcel of land. Of course, Dr. Kline jumps out of the car to investigate, even before the paramedics arrived. He was in a bit of unfamiliar territory, as there were no gunshot wounds or drug addicts to treat, and everyone seemed to be ok.

While I admittedly have had limited contact with the bride's family and friends, apparently she was in a traveling choir and has a history with Canadians (may have lived there, or maybe just went to college with a bunch many from the Great White North). After the ceremony, they asked us for a couple traits used to describe Jeremy, then sang them at the reception to the tune of an upbeat Negro Spiritual. The basic jist was all the quirky characteristics from each parent that their children would manifest. While the bride got the "sugar, spice, and everything nice" treatment, they sang about our boy's height-deficiencies, love of languages, studying Augustine, and general swarthiness. I was most impressed with the four-part harmony, using jokes we had provided just 30 minutes prior. It was a fantastic reminder of what happens when good and talented people come together in celebration.

Then, on to the dancing. The FOTB has one dance: the Mashed Potato. I think still pictures exist, but it is in true Sabellian fashion. Rampolla and I taught the women to swing dance (hint: spin around and laugh), and there was much dancing to 70s disco in wigs.

As far as weddings go, it is always a good time for celebration. Mentally and emotionally for me at least, it helps that The Philosophress and I have progressed through some rough waters with enough perspective to contribute to the weekend and enjoy catching up with others and share good stories.

Shipping up to Boston

So I'm in the terminal at LAX, and this mo-blogging thing is pretty
cool. I've realized that airline sevice/atmosphere resembles less
luxury travel and more European train station these days: decreased
service/baggage, more cattle-car feel. Not sure if that's good or bad,
just a change from the way travel's been done in this country, in my
experience.

Also, I've made more than one person at work feel sheepish when
discussing weekend plans. The "what are you up to?" question is
usually met with "well, I think we're going to BBQ, maybe sit by the
pool." Instead I throw out "Oh, I'm spending the weekend in Plymouth
and Boston," which is followed by awkward silence. Yes, coworker, I'm
more All-American than you, returning to the hometown of the first
ancestors to celebrate our nation's independence (even if they aren't
necessarily *my* ancestors).

Stay tuned to see how this experience stacks up against New Year's Eve
in Times Square. The Philosophress will be reprising her role as the
attractive ingenue, and the Sabellian will again play the swarthy, if
not more learned, foil to my dashing good looks and rapier wit.

A Little Less Conversation

So a couple weeks ago I sent The Philosophress an audio clip of "A Little Less Conversation" to set as her ringtone for when I call. She's been super-busy lately, so I didn't really expect that to be a high priority, but thought it would be good for a laugh.

Last night, I crashed pretty early (see previous blog entry) but decided to give her a call. She picks up the phone and, singing along with the song, says,"C'mon baby, I'm tired of talking" but in my semi-conscious mental state, I presumed she was telling me she had to work and couldn't chat. Needless to say, The Philosophress should have gotten style points for singing and humor -- and I missed it...good times!

Real Quick-like

This whole blogging/running/praying thing doesn't leave me much time to procrastinate...which means when I do, I have to write fast (like now).

So The Philosophress is spending the weekend in Puerto Rico, which is where they do their best team-building exercises. Anyhoo, she enters her hotel room to find her bed covered in rose petals, with an accompanying note addressed to Henry.

While I tried to take credit for the rose petals, the truth was apparently "Henry" and his special companion opted for a room that had something other than two twin beds, and they neglected to take their flowers with them...

Deja Vu

So The Philosophress is back (yes, back) in Atlanta after spending 2 days training in Boston. I am reminded of the last paragraph in this post where I mentioned her voice sounded different on the phone. Well, we're at that place again. I don't know what it is, but every time she (we) make a positive incremental change in life, I can hear it in her voice immediately. Last year, she hadn't even pulled up to her apartment complex and I could tell this was a positive decision for us.

The last couple nights, she's called me just before (sometimes while) drifting off to sleep. While not everything makes perfect sense given the late hour, I can tell that mentally and emotionally she is sharp and energized. She's begun a difficult work regimen, but I can tell that she's totally engaged with her additional responsibilities.

It's a very surreal moment -- realizing this new stage in life will be really healthy -- while also understanding that it's going to take some creative thinking, because life/marriage/friendships won't look like "Leave It To Beaver." Of course, I knew that a loooong time ago!

Redirect

So I had dinner with a friend this weekend, and during the course of conversation we spoke about times when we get frustrated with larger things in life that are not changing, and how often we redirect/displace this anger towards smaller, more manageable daily occurrences.

While I've certainly made strides in this area in the last year or so, at times I still find myself raising my voice to bad CA drivers, red lights, or the cats because I feel "stuck" in certain areas of life. I feel like the "unknown" or "difficult" should be an inspiration to do more, but instead my emotions reject this growth process and short-circuit -- favoring disengagement or autopilot instead.

Intellectually, I understand that I need to run (screaming like a banshee, if necessary) into the challenges of finding a writing job in Atlanta, conversations with my parents/family that strongly establish my individual identity apart from their conceptions, and continuing to grow & rebuild things with The Philosophress (be it cross-country, in different cities, or finally, in the same dwelling!) despite -- and maybe even because -- I know it will be difficult.

I intensely dislike spending so much willpower working up the courage to act, when I see others around me acting swiftly and decisively. I wasn't always this way, and I need to figure out what's broken so I can get back to living life with reckless abandon.

The Philosophress Blogs!

Check her out here -- I'll put links to more blogs on the left over the weekend....

Back from the Land Beyond?

Yes, I'm still alive, and much has changed. The Philosophress has come and gone (sadness!) I recall a conversation we had around Christmas time -- something to the effect of "We can't be in California together, because there's just too many bad habits and there's something in the house she's allergic to," and what do we do 5 months later?

We started the week off by spending a couple days on Catalina Island, SoCal's answer to Cinqueterre. I, of course, being the swarthy man that I am, promptly burned my pasty-white skin, which meant that our outdoor activities the rest of the time (kayaking) required a bucket hat, long sleeve collared shirt, and a life vest draped over my legs. H-o-t-t.

The Philosophress has been doing a sweet amount of traveling, with trips to Mexico, China, and Puerto Rico from March - July of this year. I have resolved within myself that I need to get in on that action, so I've revved up the job search again. Leave something in the comments section if you want to review my personal website and give me pointers, and thanks to all of you who've already chimed in.

It's interesting -- I came across some of my self-made business cards from 2004 (before the whole "moving to CA" debacle and when I was trying to find a job in Indy), and the tagline below my name reads

"Integrating written communication and technological acumen to enhance your organization's online and print publications"


It makes my full-time positions the last couple years a bit ironic in retrospect.

So anyway, I've decided that I've had enough fun in CA, so this week I've applied for two university writing/publication positions, and I plan on hitting up Habitat for Humanity, who has several interesting positions available at the ATL HQ (special thanks to Pheidipides for pointing these out).

As I said to The Philosophress earlier, it would be *so* nice to set my vision, set a goal (job in ATL by the summer or early fall), and be able to find the right combination of actions that bring this to fruition.